


That Which is Sparingly Tasted

by Aloneindarknes7



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gay Bar, Gay Male Character, Gender Issues, Genderfluid Character, Genderqueer Character, M/M, Other, Past Relationship(s), Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-01-12 18:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1195638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aloneindarknes7/pseuds/Aloneindarknes7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo never expected to meet someone in a gay club that he would like to date. But then again Beorn isn't someone that most people expect to meet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Collection of Facts is Not Necessary

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [not all who wander are lost](https://archiveofourown.org/works/671867) by [fideliant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fideliant/pseuds/fideliant). 



> I don't know how big this pairing is or if anyone even really likes it but I love the idea of Bilbo and Beorn together. I was reading chapter 7 of 'not all who wander are lost' by marlinowl which had such great interactions between Bilbo and Beorn but they were all platonic. Still, that chapter alone inspired me to write my own Bilbo/Beorn fic. (The entire fic is fantastic though and should be read, I love it already even if I am only on chapter 7.) So here's my attempt at some Bunny/Bear fic. 
> 
> I have no idea how long this is going to be. I will add tags as needed. I do not know when I will next update because I have two big tests coming up this week and did not intend to start a new fic, oops, but that is always when inspiration strikes.
> 
> I already know that Beorn is genderfluid without a preference to any pronouns but I will try to continue and use un-gendered pronouns. Beorn also prefers to be more masculine than feminine though and there will eventually be sex between Bilbo and Beorn which includes pegging. If anyone finds anything wrong with the way I have written something about Beorn to be harmful to genderfluid people, please tell me. I am bigender so I am not sure how genderfluid people care to be represented or written so I am only trying to write them respectfully as I would anyone else. Feel free to leave any tips or criticism that can help with my writing though.

They met where Bilbo never expected to meet someone he would actually like to date; in a gay club. He had nothing against gay clubs, being a gay man himself he liked knowing that he would be safe and amongst people of similar interest at one place. The only problem was that was typically where his interests with others there ended. 

Most of the people in gay clubs loved to dance wildly wherever they could, whether it was on the designated dance floor, swinging around sporadically placed bars, or even on tables. Bilbo, despite his short, un-athletic frame, loved to dance. What normally occurred in gay bars was not what he described as dancing but instead a form of public displays of sex with some clothing involved. 

The people in gay clubs also tried to consume twice their weight in alcoholic liquids. Bilbo liked alcohol, at least the drinks with a tolerable taste, and he enjoyed having a pleasant buzz to his head. But he didn’t like when others became unreasonably drunk and couldn’t control themselves or their actions. Being so drunk that they became physically ill or problematic with their tempers was not what Bilbo sought out as a good time. 

His motto had always been ‘to each their own’ which is why he never minded that his friends enjoyed gay clubs and went weekly. Bilbo did mind when he was dragged to a gay club when none of his friends could decide on a dedicated driver and forced to spend hours past when he normally liked to be in bed asleep still being in a place surrounded by drunks and blaring music. 

Hence why he never imagined that he would find someone in a gay club that he would actually have interest in dating, but then again, he had never met Beorn until that one Friday night in April.

“Would you mind if I sit here? All other tables are full.” Bilbo looked up from his phone which he had been playing Sudoku on to see a being towering over him. Bilbo blinked and offered a smile, not knowing what was occurring since he hadn’t started to pay attention to the words being spoken to him until it was too late. 

“Thanks,” was yelled at him as he suddenly found himself a tablemate. 

Bilbo normally found himself an unwilling participant in a flirtatious conversation due to his size. Many found his tiny form to be ‘cute boyfriend material’ or at least that was what he had been told. As small as he was, his tablemate was not. Bilbo had short, curly hair that couldn’t be tamed and became lighter in color during the summer. The person sitting across from Bilbo had a scruffy beard and plenty of hair to travel halfway down their back. Bilbo’s arms were skinny and he could see that his head was probably the same size of the biceps that seemed to be trying to break out of the short sleeves sitting across from him.

“Having fun here?” Bilbo frowned and wondered why people thought having conversations in clubs were a good idea. The entire conversations had to be screamed and even then it was difficult to understand people.

“I’m the DD for my friends.” Bilbo motioned out to the dance floor where he could see Bofur and Nori. 

“Same,” and suddenly there was a large hand in front of Bilbo’s face. “My name is Beorn and I am fine with any pronouns used for me.”

Bilbo took the offered hand and watched as his hand was encompassed. The handshake was surprisingly gentle though and Bilbo smiled. “I’m Bilbo and I’m male, also, gay.”

“I am pansexual. It is nice to be able to share your sexuality so freely, isn’t it?” Beorn smiled back.

Nodding, Bilbo looked Beorn over. “I don’t think many people would try to pick a fight over your sexuality with someone of your size.”

Even amongst the loud music, Bilbo could hear the booming chuckle from Beorn. “I have heard before that I am intimidating, especially when I have my beard. Do you come here often?”

“Luckily no,” Bilbo took a sip of his water. All of the yelling tended to hurt his throat. “I think I would become deaf at a very young age if I did.”

“I like cafés better. There is good food and better drinks. Less annoying people too, but sometimes more teenagers,” Beorn made a face as though the thought was terrifying. Thinking of the teenagers that Bilbo knew, which were only his cousins and then Fili, Kili, Ori, and Gimli, well, Bilbo could agree with Beorn’s terror. Unless it came to the teenagers like Ori, those people would keep the next generation in check.

“A new café just opened up on this street.” Bilbo had seen it on the way to the club. It was hard to miss since it was brightly painted and had replaced what had been a dull, closed building for the past months. 

“Yes, I saw it coming here. Would you like to check it out with me?” Beorn asked with a smirk and Bilbo was left floundering for a response for a minute. That had been an excellent lead into a pickup line. 

“I don’t like to go out with someone I don’t know.” Bilbo replied back with what he hoped to be an apologetic smile. 

“How will you know me if you don’t go out with me?” Beorn asked. “You certainly can’t know me when here. It’s too loud for a real conversation.”

Bilbo frowned and tapped his fingers on the table, not for the sound but just for something to do with his hands. “That’s true.” He agreed but didn’t say anything more. 

“Not an answer,” Beorn pointed out but was smiling. “You can invite a friend if it would make you feel more comfortable. Like I said before, I know that I can be intimidating.”

Bilbo was about to respond by gently refusing again when suddenly Bofur had an arm wrapped around his shoulder and was pushing him further into the booth. “He’d love to. Bilbo hasn’t been out in a date in far too long. Not since he broke up with Thorin and that was over a year ago. He needs to get laid.”

“Bofur,” Bilbo shoved at his friend angrily but Bofur didn’t seem to care as only offered a smile in Bilbo’s direction. “I thought you were dancing.”

“Lost my dance partner,” Bofur waggled his eyebrows and Bilbo looked around here to confirm that Nori was no longer on the dance floor which meant he had found someone for a quick lay. 

Bilbo sighed to himself and finished off his water. “If you’re still not ready to start a relationship, Bilbo,” he looked up at Beorn when he heard his name, “then perhaps we’ll put that coffee date on hold?”

“I’m not hung up on Thorin still.” He explained, glaring at Bofur. “I just don’t like giving out personal information to strangers and that includes my phone number.”

“Then don’t give me your phone number.” Beorn shrugged. “I’ll be at the café on Monday at two, before the teenagers are released from school. If you’re there, I’ll buy you a drink, if you’re not, then that’s fine.”

Bilbo stared at Beorn when the other suddenly stood up. “My friends seem to finally be done for the night. I might see you later but even if I don’t it was nice to meet you, Bilbo.” Beorn smiled and Bilbo smiled back as Beorn waved and left them.

“Holy shit, Bilbo, if you don’t go on Monday then I will. I bet his cock is huge. Did you see the size of him? And I bet he gives great beard rides.” Bofur licked his lips suggestively and Bilbo pushed him again. 

“Go get me a refill of water.” Bilbo pushed Bofur out of the booth and watched his friend make his way to the bar. If his eyes happened to search the crowd for a towering figure in hopes of one last glance of Beorn, then that was no one’s business but his own.


	2. To Connect More Closely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay but I'm participating in the Hobbit Big Bang challenge on LJ/Tumblr so I was dedicating my time to that. Also, I got a job so I don't have as much free time for writing. Still, I enjoy writing this fic and I hope it's enjoyed by those reading it. If anyone spots something wrong/off feel free to point it out to me.

It was 1:49 and Bilbo was sitting in his car in the café’s parking lot. Bofur had been texting every hour for the past five hours about whether or not he was going to meet with Beorn or not. Bilbo had spent the last fifteen minutes fretting about actually getting out of his car to meet with Beorn. He had taken too long picking out his outfit the night before. He had taken too long trying to do something with his hair even though he knew it was a useless battle. Then he had taken too long deciding when to leave in order to make it to the café in time and he ended up arriving way too early. 

He didn’t even know if Beorn was even in the café or if this meeting had been forgotten, or worse, a joke. This was why Bilbo hadn’t dated anyone since Thorin; he was still too uncertain about himself and everything else to form a new relationship. The way his and Thorin’s relationship had ended hadn’t helped Bilbo’s confidence at all even though he hadn’t been too self-assured at the beginning of their relationship either.

The clock in his car turned to 1:53 and Bilbo finally removed the key from the ignition. Taking a deep breath and one last look in his rearview mirror, Bilbo stepped out of his car and made for the café. Upon entering the café, Bilbo decided that whether he had a date or not didn’t really matter since he could still have a pleasant outing. The café seemed very nice and exactly the kind of place Bilbo liked to be at. There was soothing music playing softly, comfortable looking chairs and tables spread around, a clean display of food, a chalkboard filled with specialty drinks that didn’t seem to be in a made up language, and the entire place smelled of a mix of coffee and cinnamon. 

But before Bilbo could get further into the café than the entrance, he recognized the person currently ordering. He froze. He shouldn’t have been surprised to see Balin at a café, he did know that the man liked a good cup of Joe, but he hadn’t been expecting to see him there. Bilbo had stopped going to what had been his regular café in order to not cross paths with Balin. After all, Balin had been Thorin’s friend before the relationship and Bilbo hadn’t expected the man to want to remain friends with Bilbo after the breakup. It would have just been less awkward if Bilbo had never seen the man ever again.

Deciding that he needed to leave and that the whole idea was ridiculous, Bilbo turned around in order to head back to his car. Of course, when he turned around he would run directly into Beorn. Beorn placed a steadying hand on Bilbo’s shoulder and offered him a wide grin.

“You came.” Beorn sounded surprised but looked genuinely happy to see Bilbo.

“I did, um, yes.” Bilbo smiled and hunched his shoulders in an attempt to not be noticed or attract Balin’s attention. 

Beorn seemed to notice Bilbo’s unease. “Having second thoughts already? You went through the trouble of coming here, might as well get a free drink out of it.” Beorn offered and motioned to the line, right where Balin was standing and staring at Bilbo. 

Bilbo offered a half-smile to Balin as he approached. “Hello, Balin.”

“Bilbo Baggins, what a coincidence seeing you here.” Balin smiled warmly and Bilbo felt his own smile become a bit less forced at seeing that Balin was just as friendly as ever. “It’s been too long since we last saw each other. You look good, Bilbo.” Balin placed a hand on Bilbo’s shoulder and his smile dimmed slightly. “How have you been?” 

“I’m good and it’s so nice to see you again.” Bilbo decided as he stuck to common pleasantries. “How have you and your brother been? Keeping busy?”

“Oh yes, you know Dwalin, always starting up some sort of new project.” Balin supplied even as his eyes turned to Beorn. “I’m sorry, we’re being terribly rude. I’m Balin Durin, and you are?”

“Beorn,” Balin took the offered hand with a tight smile. “Nice to meet a friend of Bilbo’s.” Beorn smiled.

“Yes, well, I should leave you and Bilbo to your plans. I need to leave anyways.” Balin clapped Bilbo on the shoulder once more. “It was nice seeing you again, Bilbo.”

Bilbo watched him leave and then sighed heavily. “I was thinking of getting a muffin but I can’t decide between blueberry and chocolate chip. If I get both and cut them in half, you’ll eat the other halves, right?” Beorn asked and Bilbo blinked to see that Beorn was intently studying the display case filled with baked goods.

“Oh, uh, yes, of course. I like muffins.” Bilbo confirmed.

Beorn shot him a look. “Everyone likes muffins; if they don’t then they haven’t had the right muffins.” A small chuckle escaped Bilbo as he watched Beorn motioned towards the large chalkboard. “Pick out a drink.”

Bilbo looked over the menu and ordered something that sounded simple enough. He could actually understand what all was used as ingredients. Beorn seemed to have the same idea since the drink Beorn chose was going to be Bilbo’s second choice but had sounded too sweet at the moment. After paying, Beorn motioned towards a small table that was secluded and far away from the door and large windows of the shop. Taking their drinks and muffins over to the table, the two sat and smiled at each other.

“Thank you,” Bilbo expressed when Beorn used a plastic knife to divide the muffins. “For all of this,” Bilbo clarified, tipping his drink in a half-salute to Beorn. “I really thought that I’d never be on a date again.” 

“I hope that you’ll be on many dates in the near future. I also hope that I’m with you during those dates.” Beorn grinned before taking a bite of the half of the blueberry muffin. Beorn nodded appreciatively. “This place has my approval of blueberry muffins.” 

Bilbo smiled and took his own bite. “I’ve made better.” He commented even while he took another bite.

Beorn eyed Bilbo and the smaller man felt a moment of panic that he had insulted Beorn by his comment. But Beorn simply asked, “Can you bake?”

“Yes.” Bilbo cautiously answered. 

“Do you bake often?”

“At least weekly.”

“And do you cook as well?”

“Yes and more than baking since I wouldn’t eat if I didn’t cook.”

Beorn sighed before taking a long sip of the sweet drink. “Its official then; you’re a catch and I’m going to have to do my best to hold onto you.”

Bilbo let out a small huff of laughter at that comment. “I’m really not and you don’t have to feel the need to pile the compliments on me just because we’re on a date. I mean, you haven’t even tried anything I’ve made so you can’t be sure that I’m actually good at cooking or baking.”

“But you can cook more than pasta or pancakes?” Beorn asked.

“Well, yes.” Bilbo nodded. “I can cook a lot more than just that.”

“I cannot.” Beorn informed. “Therefore whatever you make is better than what I usually eat.”

Bilbo rolled his eyes. “You can’t state that like it’s a fact if you haven’t eaten anything I’ve cooked yet.”

“Yet?” Beorn smiled widely behind the rim of the drink. 

Bilbo’s cheeks reddened slightly at the slip of that word. It was true that he felt comfortable in Beorn’s presence which was more than he usually felt about new people. But he shouldn’t have tried to imply future meetings when they were still on their first date. He opened his mouth but Beorn seemed to know that he meant to apologize and quickly started a new conversation.

“What is it you do for a living?” Beorn asked.

“I run an apartment complex. Family business really that I inherited from my dad but it makes me be social to some degree which is probably good for me.” Bilbo answered, glad for the conversation change.

“And what do you do to live?” Beorn grinned at Bilbo’s confused expression. “During your free time, what do you enjoy doing? What are your passions, your hobbies, your interests?”

“Oh, well, actually,” Bilbo tore off a piece of his other muffin half. “I like to read and to write. I also draw sometimes but just for fun really. I could never make a career out of it.” Bilbo popped the muffin bite into his mouth and put his hand in front of his mouth to block the sight of it while he asked. “What about you? What about your job and your interests?”

“I have a boring desk job.” Beorn waved off. “But when I get to avoid the office I’m normally at the local humane center. I love helping animals and volunteering makes me feel good. Plus, I am the only one at the center that feels confident enough to walk the newest, biggest dogs.” Beorn chuckled.

Bilbo smiled. “I actually got a cat a few months ago from the center, if it’s the same one I’m thinking of. The one down at the end of Country Lane?” 

Beorn nodded. “That’s the one. What’s your cat’s name? I might remember the little furball.”

“Well, Smaug is pretty memorable in my opinion. That’s the name he had while he was at the center so I kept it for him. Even though Smaug wouldn’t be little in my opinion and he certainly has a big personality to match.” Bilbo smiled as he recalled, “Whenever I leave any papers out he always manages to pile them up and nest on them. He also won’t ever let me sleep in and will bat at my nose until I get up to give him his wet food.” 

Chuckling, Beorn finished the muffin pieces and used the napkin to get rid of the crumbs left behind. “I do recall Smaug. I thought he was a mix of Main Coon due to how large he is. He’s got very soft fur though, very shiny too.” 

“He does and he actually loves to be brushed which is good since he doesn’t seem to get many hairballs if I brush his hair daily.” Bilbo continued to tell Beorn tales about Smaug and didn’t feel worried about Beorn being bored by all the talk of animals since Beorn responded with other animal stories. They talked about animals to traveling, from traveling to their favorite folktales and mythologies, then to books and movies.

Before Bilbo knew it, he lifted his drink to his mouth only to realize it was already gone. Beorn chuckled. “That’s the third time you’ve tried to continue to drink that empty container. I’d offer to buy you a refill but I don’t know how you feel about drinking caffeine later in the evening. I normally stop drinking caffeinated beverages after six and considering that it’s almost seven--”

“It’s almost seven!” Bilbo practically shouted in surprise and then lowered his voice with an apology as he realized his outburst had gathered some stares from people who had wandered into the café after work in order to revitalize their souls.

Beorn smiled. “I’ll take the fact that you lost track of time as a compliment.” Bilbo hummed noncommittally as he took out his cell phone to check the time. He also had about five new messages from Bofur asking if he chickened out, if he was ignoring him because he was actually on the date, if the date was going well, was he still on the date, and ending with an almost frantic text asking if he had been kidnapped and that the police were going to be contacted soon.

Bilbo hurried to text Bofur back that he was having a great time and lost track of time but police were not needed. Beorn made a noise to gain Bilbo’s attention back. “Would it be too bold of me to ask you out to dinner?” 

“A second date in the same day?” Bilbo had never experienced it before but he was enjoying his time with Beorn and didn’t want to end it yet.

“Let’s not call it a second date yet, but just the longest first date ever.” Beorn suggested. “After all, I’ve kept you this late I feel that I owe you dinner now.” Beorn remarked with a grin that Bilbo found himself slowly finding comfort in. 

“Where should we go for dinner?” Bilbo found himself asking, his own grin blossoming across his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically for Beorn's job I pictured Beorn being a translator and knowing like four or five languages fluently including Russian because while reading the Hobbit I pictured Beorn as a giant, friendly Russian man meaning that he'll be your best friend instantly over drinks or he'll kill you without question.


	3. The Folly of Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took so long to write because I was really uncomfortable writing it. THERE IS TRANSPHOBIC WORDING USED, WARNING FOR THAT. I also hurried to write the next chapter so I can fix things so that will be posted tomorrow. Again, Bilbo is not kind in this chapter so if you don't want to read about someone completing misgendering Beorn then feel free to skip this chapter. Also, please let me know if I used anything incorrectly in this chapter. I based Beorn's genderfluid slightly off of my own feelings but I am bigender so I do understand that there is a difference in how others who identify as genderfluid feel from me.

Bilbo couldn’t really believe that things with Beorn were going so well. Perhaps he should see a therapist for having so much self-doubt and always waiting for the other shoe to drop. But things were just going almost too well.

They had been on so many dates already that Bilbo lost track of the numbers. It had been three months though and Bilbo was pretty sure that they were past ‘dating’ and more of ‘in a relationship’ as Bofur would label it. They had gone out to eat, visited some parks, seen a museum, and even went to Beorn’s apartment for a movie night. 

Now Beorn was coming over to Bilbo’s apartment since Bilbo had offered to cook. Bilbo had also baked some chocolate chip cookies using his mother’s recipe earlier that day in order to ensure that he impressed Beorn. 

Since it was the first time Beorn was coming to his apartment, Bilbo was a tad nervous. To help relax him, he had put on his favorite music to sing along with while he cooked. If he also happened to dance ridiculously as he sang into a spoon or shake his booty before twirling his way to the refrigerator for some more butter, than no one needed to be the wiser. 

Dancing always helped ease him which was why he was always dragged to the club with his friends. They just happened to ignore him when he complained about what occurred in those clubs to not be considered dancing. Bilbo wasn’t an expert dancer and had never taken a single class. But he thought his twirls, arm motions, and ridiculous leg kicks were still much closer to dancing than dry humping a stranger.

He had pulled the cookies out of the oven and pleased to see that they were a delicious brown color without a hint of being overdone. He sashayed over to the cabinets to grab one last herb to add a finishing touch to the diner. When he turned around, he noticed that Beorn was standing in the doorway, biting back laughter.

“If we go to a club together I’m not going to let you refuse to dance with me now.” Beorn explained with a grin.

“You’re early!” Bilbo claimed even as he tried to ignore the sudden heat in his cheeks. “And it’s rude to just let yourself into my apartment.”

“You were ignoring the knocks on the door. I think your music is too loud.” Beorn pointed towards the stereo accusingly.

“My music is not that loud.” Bilbo rushed over to the stereo to quickly cut the music off.

“Well, I might not have been knocking very loudly to begin with.” Beorn sheepishly admitted. “I hope you aren’t too upset at me. That wouldn’t be a very good start to the night. I might have to go out and get a bigger bouquet.” Only then did Beorn reveal the flowers that had been hidden from Bilbo’s sight.

“Beorn, they’re beautiful!” Bilbo smiled as he took the offered flowers. He inhaled deeply and rushed back into the kitchen for a vase. “You didn’t have to bring these. I didn’t gift you anything when I visited your place.” 

Beorn shrugged. “I saw them and I wanted to buy them for you. Even if I wasn’t coming to your place tonight, I would have liked to give them to you. After all, you told me about all the gardens and flowers that were in your hometown. You looked so happy when you told me of those memories that I wanted you to think of them again.”

“Well, I’m not sure these quite compare with those flowers,” Bilbo replied cheekily, “But I certainly love them.” He went up to Beorn and stood on his tip toes just to be able to wrap his hands around Beorn’s neck. Only then was he able to tug Beorn down lower to press their lips together. 

Beorn pulled back with a large grin. “If that is the thanks I get for flowers, then I’ll make sure to buy out the florist.”

“I only have one vase.” Bilbo complained even as he chuckled. “Make yourself comfortable, dinner is almost ready. Do you want iced tea or lemonade?”

“I’ll take both.” Beorn called back.

“What? Like mixed together?” Bilbo frowned.

“You’ve never tried half and half?” Beorn stopped walking towards the small dining room table to head towards the fridge. “I don’t trust you to mix it well then. I’ll get the drinks; you finish whatever fussy little last minute thing you need to add to dinner.”

Bilbo huffed and would have complained if Beorn hadn’t been so accurate in the accusation. He settled for adding the last herb and plating out significant portions before heading towards the table where Beorn had set out the two pitchers of drink Bilbo had made earlier that afternoon.

Dinner went off perfectly. Everything was delicious, as Beorn repeatedly praised, and Bilbo was delightfully surprised with how well lemonade and iced tea mixed together. They had each eaten more cookies than they would admit to and somehow ended up on Bilbo’s couch. 

Technically Beorn was on Bilbo’s couch. Bilbo was more or less on top of Beorn. They were kissing again, something that Bilbo would happily admit he was becoming addictive to, and Beorn had managed to get a hand underneath the back of Bilbo’s shirt. Bilbo love Beorn’s hands. They were so large and always very warm, the polar opposite of Bilbo’s small and cold hands. It felt wonderful to have one of Beorn’s hands splayed across his back and slowly run up and down his spine.

Bilbo melted against Beorn, incidentally rubbing his erection down onto Beorn’s thigh. He shifted his hand underneath Beorn’s shirt and began to move up the warm skin. He paused when his hand met fabric once more, just beginning at around Beorn’s ribcage. He almost thought it would be where a woman would wear a bra.

Laughing at the very thought, Bilbo broke their kiss to share the joke with Beorn. “Are you wearing a bra, Beorn?”

“No, it’s my binder.” Beorn answered without a hint of sarcasm or humor in the words. 

Bilbo’s mouth curled up into a tight smile before his brow creased with confusion. “Your binder?”

Beorn nodded. “To bind my breasts.”

“Your breasts.” Bilbo’s smile disappeared altogether. 

Beorn met Bilbo’s eyes with a frown. “I wear a binder most days to bind my breasts unless I am feeling especially feminine and wish to have my breasts fill out a shirt or dress.”

Bilbo removed his hand from underneath Beorn’s shirt. “Why do you have breasts?”

“I would say that I was born with them but technically I didn’t have them until puberty hit me when I was fourteen.” Beorn explained calmly.

Bilbo shifted the knee that was between Beorn’s thighs and when he didn’t feel what he was hoping to find in Beorn’s jeans he stood. “And when were you going to tell me that you didn’t have a dick? When I took your pants off? Or were you just hoping that I maybe wouldn’t notice?” He stood with his back to Beorn and crossed his arms over his chest to stop himself from lashing out with his hands.

“I do have a dick; I just left it at home tonight. I hadn’t realized that you would be comfortable for sexual intimacy already considering we’ve never done more than make out. I thought you wanted to take things slow.” Beorn’s voice was slow and even. “Next time, I can bring--”

“Next time?” Bilbo interrupted as he spun around. “There won’t be a next time, Beorn.”

Beorn’s face scrunched up before Beorn looked expectantly at Bilbo. “Because of my body?”

“Yes,” Bilbo threw his hands angrily to his sides, his fists clenched into tight fists. “Because you’re a woman and I’m gay. I don’t sleep with women; I don’t like women; why would you trick me into dating you?” 

“Because I am not a woman.” Beorn stated between clenched teeth. 

“So, what, you’re transgender? Is that it? Are you, are you getting surgery soon or something?” Bilbo asked, his face suddenly softening with hope. His expression after his questions only seemed to make Beorn angrier.

“I am not getting surgery. I like my body the way it is because I can easily adjust it to fit my moods. I am genderfluid .” Beorn explained. “I might not always like having breasts, but sometimes I do. Even when I don’t like having breasts, I still like my breasts. Even though I do not like being penetrated vaginally, I still like my vagina. If I want to have a penis, I have a variety that I can choose from and even get more online. This is the way I am and I like the way I am.” 

A large hand ran through Beorn’s hair before Beorn met Bilbo’s eyes again. “I thought you understood that. You used male pronouns for me but I thought you understood that I wasn’t actually a man.”

“I knew you didn’t care about pronouns, it was one of the first things you ever told me. But I just thought it was some new-age way of thinking or something.” Bilbo sighed. “Beorn, I just don’t think we can have a relationship anymore. You should leave.” He confessed with a heavy heart.

Beorn’s eyes watered slightly. “We were getting along so well. I felt such a connection with you, Bilbo.”

“Well, yes, I did too, but that was before I knew you were a woman. I’m gay, Beorn, I just can’t find women attractive.” Bilbo expressed sadly.

“I am not a woman.” Beorn shouted before taking a deep, calming breath. “Did you find me attractive before you knew what genitals were under my clothes?”

“I had but that was because I didn’t know you had, well, breasts.” Bilbo was a little startled by Beorn’s anger. If anyone had a right to be angry, he thought it should be him considering that Beorn had been lying to him.

“If they bother you, I can keep them in my binder when we are sexual.” Beorn suggested. “Please, Bilbo, don’t give up on us just because of my genitals. My genitals are possibly the least important aspect of what makes me Beorn.”

Bilbo shook his head. “It won’t work, it can’t work. I’m gay.” He stressed the word.

Beorn stood up suddenly and only then did Bilbo remember how much taller Beorn was than him. “Your sexuality isn’t who you are, Bilbo. But your close-minded view of others tells me enough about who you truly are.” Beorn stormed over to the door without giving Bilbo the chance to say anything more. “Goodbye then, Bilbo, I will try to remember you fondly.” Beorn slammed the door shut and Bilbo found himself alone.

He knew things had been going too well.


	4. Be Not Ashamed of Thy Virtues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I promised, here's the next chapter to make everything better. Don't expect updates to be this regular though. If I can update every other week it'll be great.

It took two days before Bilbo stopped pitying himself and went to research everything he could find about genderfluid. He especially searched for stories about couples that involved someone who was genderfluid. He had started right after lunch and he didn’t stop until his stomach gurgled angrily at him and Bilbo was startled to find that it was almost eight thirty. 

Sitting down to a lonely, quick dinner, Bilbo realized how he no longer had anything to look forward to doing for the rest of the week. Originally he had planned on seeing a movie with Beorn on Wednesday, going out to dinner on Friday, and then having a picnic on Saturday. Now he had absolutely nothing to do unless Bofur or Nori spontaneously invite him out somewhere. 

Sighing, Bilbo knew that he had to apologize. What he had said to Beorn had been incredibly ignorant. He was not right to try and tell Beorn what gender Beorn needed to identify with just because of the genitals of Beorn’s body. It had taken a lot of stories, but Bilbo understood some things better about being genderfluid. 

He also knew that he was ruining a very good relationship over something that shouldn’t be very important for their relationship. Sex wasn’t everything. After all, they hadn’t even had sex and Bilbo would have still considered what he had with Beorn as the best relationship he’d had.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It took another two days but Bilbo found his way to stand in front of Beorn’s apartment. Bilbo had debated about apologizing in person or over the phone, but he felt like it would be better to say all that he had to say to Beorn’s face. Also, he couldn’t deliver apology food quite as well over the phone.

The door opened and there Beorn stood. Bilbo stared for a moment. Beorn was in a long, blue and green dress with black leggings underneath. Beorn had hair extensions in but also hadn’t shaved the beard that Bilbo knew Beorn enjoyed styling. 

Beorn’s arms were crossed defensively. “I assumed when you broke up with me that it meant we weren’t going to the movies tonight.” 

“You assumed right,” Bilbo nodded his head, still staring at the way the dress made Beorn’s breasts very obvious. “But then I am here to apologize for my assumption.” He looked up to meet Beorn’s eyes. “I am very sorry for not being understanding and not listening to your explanations. I was very narrow minded and I was wrong.” He held up his peace offering. “I baked you zucchini bread because you said it was your favorite. I was hoping that maybe we could talk and not in the hallway where your neighbors could hear?” He looked around uneasily.

Beorn snorted. “My neighbors have heard worst.” Beorn stared at the zucchini bread and offered Bilbo a small smile. “I suppose I could invite you in for a talk, since you baked my favorite baked good. Perhaps if you continue to say the right things and actually mean it I could spare a slice for you.”

“You mean I could earn a slice of the zucchini bread that I made? Wow, you are generous, Beorn.” Bilbo smiled as Beorn’s smile turned genuine. 

“Get in here,” Beorn motioned with a hand before closing the door behind Bilbo. Beorn instantly went towards the kitchen and Bilbo stood awkwardly near the door before Beorn walked back in with two slices of zucchini bread cut on plates. “A conversation right by my door is better than the hallway?” Beorn eyed Bilbo curiously before heading to the large couch in the apartment.

Bilbo followed and sat next to Beorn. He took a bite of his zucchini bread and realized how quiet it was between them. Usually it was comfortable being with Beorn, no matter what they were doing, but now it was too obviously silent. 

“I am truly sorry, Beorn, that I judged you for your genitals.” Bilbo began and put a hand on Beorn’s thigh, on top of the fabric of the dress. “They aren’t important and certainly aren’t what I like best about the relationship we had or else we would have been doing this a while ago. I’ve only ever dated cisgender people before you so I was just a bit mixed up about my conflicting thoughts.”

He licked his lips before meeting Beorn’s eyes. “If you could find some way to forgive my ignorance and give me another chance, I would very much like to be your boyfriend again. I’d be much better and more understanding although I can’t promise to be perfect because you already know me well enough to fall for that.” He smiled tentatively and found that he was holding his breath as he waited for an answer. 

It felt longer than it was until Beorn answered and Bilbo could breathe easily again. “I would like to give you another chance, Bilbo.” Beorn smiled kindly. “But let me be up front about some things this time. I have breasts, a vagina, and, of course, an anus. I do not like to be penetrated in the vagina with anything but tongues. I like some fingers in my anus sometimes. Mostly I like to wear my strap-ons and penetrate my partners. I currently have six different dildos I can wear ranging in sizes, shapes, and colors. I usually like to perform sex without having to bind my breasts but I can if it makes my partner uncomfortable.

Beorn’s tongue swiped out quickly before continuing, “I also have many scars up and down my legs which I do not like my partners to touch. I have hair on my stomach which I will not shave even if I wear a bikini, but I constantly shave my pubes. I have shared this now with you, but you will have to earn my trust again before I feel comfortable trying to be sexual with you.”

Bilbo’s face felt hot but he nodded. “That all sounds very fair. I, um, can become okay with your breasts being without your binding but I probably won’t touch or play with them much. I also don’t think I could touch your vagina unless you wear your strap-on and I can touch through that. I certainly don’t mind anal play with my partner and I highly encourage it for myself.” Bilbo wiggled slightly. “I was called a ‘size queen’ by my last boyfriend and I can certainly provide a dildo big enough if you don’t already own one.”

Beorn chuckled and Bilbo relaxed slightly against the couch. “I like to give and receive blow jobs, my nipples are sadly not very sensitive,” he continued. “And even though I can be open minded in bed when it comes to kinks, I will absolutely not be okay with being slapped, especially not my face. If I’m to be spanked, it’ll have to be light and I need to be told beforehand.”

“All of this comes later, of course.” Beorn reminded gently and Bilbo quickly nodded his head in agreement.

“Oh of course, yes, there’s no rush. Although, if it’s okay with you, I know of a lovely spot for dinner on Friday, if you’re free that night?” Bilbo offered.

Beorn grinned. “I could be persuaded. Where did you have in mind?”

“Well, I’m not honestly sure because you didn’t tell me.” Bilbo admitted earning a loud, endearing laugh from Beorn.


End file.
